Charlie's Kennel

JACK There's razors in your apple, on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, There's anthrax in your Snapple, on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, The only thing you, got to know is, all of your candy's got to go, 'cause there's razors in your apple, on Halloween, Halloween, on Halloween. ETHAN Yes, your candy's been contaminated, from villains who are evil, mad and jaded, Don't break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar, 'cause it's filled with pieces of a friggin' crowbar, They left no candy untouched, even made the Pop Rocks pop too much, No, I don't mean to cause a scene, but it's only, JACK On Halloween. SEAN Ignore those M&Ms, 'cause they're filled with more, hatred than Eminem, They dumped bleach on all the Snickers, steel wires in every Twizzler, Do you like your Now-N-Laters, filled with KNIVES from all the haters? Don't let me see that Tootsie Roll, because it's laced with crack. JACK There's razors in your apple, on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, There's anthrax in your Snapple, on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, The only thing you, got to know is, all of your candy's got to go, 'cause there's razors in your apple, on Halloween, Halloween, on Halloween. TOBY Hold up, Jack, sounds kinda whack, Whatcha trying to do, give kids' parent a heart attack? I think you've gone too far, Warning kids about their candy? Who you think you are? JACK Don't make assumptions, Toby, You might learn something, Toby, if you knew about conspiracies, you'd know the government, is trying to rule our minds, with candy-consumption, Toby. TOBY Sounds like you're paranoid, Your argument is null and void. JACK No, I'm telling you, they're watching us, don't eat the candy Tobuscus, or else they'll.. TOBY OKAY, now I'm annoyed, There's no anthrax in your Snapple, No razors in your apple. JACK Oh, you wanna bet? TOBY Yea, sure, I'll take it. *crunch* Goddangit! JACK There's razors in your apple, on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, There's anthrax in your Snapple, on Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, The only thing you, got to know is, all of your candy's got to go, 'cause there's razors in your apple, on Halloween, Halloween, on Halloween.

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03:53pm on Dec 27

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